White Cheerleaders Getting Low

Umm, I realize that this was from 2007, but really. Crossover fail.

Halt Your Malt

I’m a big fan of single malt whisky. So much so that I can seriously count the several waves of popularity and indifference this libation has received over the years… all as I keep on with my amber addiction. I’m proud to say that I have had the good fortune to enjoy many 100’s, if not 1,000’s, of expressions of Scotland’s finest (and not so yummy) malts. While the selection that is available in the US (and the Houston area in particular) is pretty good, there are significant gaps between what I would like to try and what I can get my hands on. Enter Master of Malt. Brora’s and Mortlach’s and birthyear Scotches… Oh My! And the prices are pretty darned good, too. I urge you to browse their site. If you find something you like, order it! And tell ’em Jeff sent ya…

Vince Goes Solo (NSFW)

By now you have heard that the ever bombastic pitchman, Billy Mays, has passed away. Seems like it has been a bad week or three if you are a recognized celebrity. Billy was only 50, but his arch nemesis, Vince, of Shamwow! fame, will be the only shill that gets regular air play. So what if Vince took this new-found solo competition to say what he really wanted to say…

—-> Please be careful if you are at work! <—-

Many thanks to Cynical-C for lightening the mood…

Bush = Obama

Do you really need *any* special observational skills to realize that we are getting more of the same from our President of Change? C’mon, politicians lie. Politicians will say and do anything to accomplish one goal: re-election. There is no fundamental difference between Bush and Obama. The pristine new savior of the country and its conscience didn’t take long to prove that his resolve is made of over-cooked pasta. Guantanamo closure? Flip flop.  Guantanamo prisoner status? Back to Bush’s plan. “I’ll never tax your health care benefits!”? Utter bullshit as that is now “on the table and you can be sure that it will happen. And all the promises to the gay community? Not quite so much. Congratulations to President Obamush. You did bring some change. You’ve trashed the rights of some (bond and equity owners) in favor of others (union workers) to prop up a few industry players that have categorically proven that they are no longer even close to competitive. Here’s to the hope that the Repukes can take back control of Congress so that we will once again have grid-lock on the Hill. It’s gotta be better than change.

Travel Alert: Cincinnati

As if you needed another reason to never ever visit Cincinnati: The Marilyn Monroe look-a-like contest.

Marilyn Monroe look-alike contestants Julie Meyer of Covington, left and Kelly Sengewald of Mt. Healthy give their best impression on stage for the Hollywood Casino Marilyn Monroe look-alike contest on Fountain Square Friday June 26.

Dell vs Dell

Well, it’s time to get my geek on. A few weeks ago I was ruminating on getting a new desktop computer for my office. I bought a Dell Dimension 4600 a little more than 6 years ago. I’ve run it 24/7 since purchase and have been generally happy with it. I know that the expected life of a desktop is about 3 years, so I am not upset over a HD replacement, memory upgrade or video card upgrade. It’s  Pentium 4 system running at 3gHz on XP Pro with maxed out RAM and is now showing it’s age. It also has an upcoming HD failure (again) and the watch battery has been replaced (a sure sign of doom), as well as signs that the power supply is getting wonky. This machine cost me around $2,000.

I ordered a new Dell this weekend. I got a system that features the Intel Core i7, 3G of tri-channel RAM, blah, blah, blah. I ordered an additional 6G of RAM from Newegg.com. My total bill is about $850 to my door. It should be here in a week or so and I am already dreading the data transfer debacle. Hell, that never goes smoothly. Hopefully, though, I’ll have another machine that will blaze through another 6 years!

Classic Comedy

I’m not that old… But I am also not that young. The late night TV variety show genre’ is populated with exactly one acceptable constituent: Johnny Carson‘s Tonight Show. Everything else was just weird, uncomfortable and unsatisfying. Johnny is gone, Buddy Hackett is gone and now Ed McMahon is gone. But their comedy is still damn funny.

Oh Hubble, Where Art Thou?

The Hubble orbiting telescope has undoubtedly provided some of the most amazing astronomical images ever seen. Over the couse of its career it has produced a stunning amount of data by way of those images and observations. Did you know that you can actually access that data? Of course, it’s in its raw form… To beautify it you need to process it, which means subtracting a dark frame, a bias frame, dividing by the flat field, flagging bad pixels, combining multiple exposures to get rid of cosmic rays, performing a geometric correction… and if you want color, you have to do that for the other filters used in the observation, and then combining those using Photoshop or some other software. But if you are game, head on over to the master Hubble database and have at it. You are gonna need to get your geek on to even query the database, so be warned! BTW, images that are not at least one year old will not be available.

Too Much Pork?

It’s a sausage wrapped pork tenderloin that is served with brussels sprouts. I’ve never been a big fan of those little bitter green balls of bitterness. But this much pig might make me change my mind… Thanks Slashfood!

For the Tenderloin:

2 each pork tenderloin
1/2 lb. fat back
1 1/2 lb. pork butt
1 Pinch of sel rouge (Curing Salt)
1 teaspoon fennel seed, ground
1 teaspoon coriander, ground
1 teaspoon black pepper, ground
3 cloves of garlic
3 sprigs of parsley
1 cup caul fat

For the Farrotto:

2 1/2 cups Farro
1/2 piece of fennel, diced
1/2 piece medium onion, diced
2 quarts of chicken stock
3 sprigs of parsley, chopped
1/2 cup butter, cubed

For the Brussels Sprouts:

1 cup of cleaned brussels sprouts blanched quickly in water
1 1/2 cup of thinly slice bacon
1/4 cup of golden raisins
1 tablespoon grapeseed oil

PREPARATION:

For Pork Tenderloin:

1. Clean the Pork Tenderloin and portion the 2 into 6 portions. Chef Di Meglio prepares this dish at Olana using authentic Berskshire pork from D’Artagnan.

2. Add all other ingredients except for the caul fat. Mix well and grind finely (or, if you’re short on time, D’Artagnan has wonderful pre-made sausage).

3. Lay out the sausage on a piece of plastic wrap and roll it around the pork tenderloin.

4. Wrap it lightly in the caul fat to help its keep shape. Cook on a greased baking sheet in a 400° F oven for 12-15 minutes.

5. Let it rest for 5 minutes and slice.

For Farotto:

1. In a medium sized pan with a little oil to coat the bottom of the pan add the fennel and onions and cook soft.

2. Add the Farro to the pan and toast it lightly.

3. Add the chicken stock. Stir until soft.

4. When the farro is soft, add the herbs and butter. Set aside to plate.

For the Brussels Sprouts:

1. In a pan add the oil and start to render the bacon until golden brown.

2. Add the brussels sprouts and cook until they get a little color and are cooked thoroughly.

3. Finally add the raisins and continue to cook for 3 more minutes.

Plating: Smear farro on center of plate, spoon aside the brussels sprouts. Lay pork on top and enjoy while hot!

The Cracked Guide to Tats

I will admit that there are a very few folks for whom tats are an important part of their serious psyche. This reprint is not about them. Cracked.com does a great job of breaking down tats for those that do not have them.

There are some important questions to ask before getting a tattoo:

• Have I wanted this for more than five minutes?
• Am I, at this particular instant in sidereal time, drunk off my face?
• Do the tattoo artist’s past works resemble an art class for crash-helmet testers?
• I meet the love of my life.  I romance them for months, reaching a point where we can communicate our very deepest emotions and feel that we almost share souls (awwww).  At this point, can I see myself naked and explaining this tattoo?

Just The Facts

• Tattoos theoretically could be thoughtful additions to your appearance. Unfortunately there are thousands of tattoo parlors (many open 24 hours) and people just don’t have that many thoughts. So most are stupid.
• Tattoos are permanent. Your motivation/blood-alcohol level is not.
• Tattoos are now as edgy as a padded watermelon.