NSFW: Prius Truth

I do not dispute the fact that Toyota has experienced a few issues with their cars. I also am pretty sure that the situation has been WAY overblown by folks who are A) idiots, or B) opportunistic scammers looking for a payoff, or C) a combination of the previous.

Get Your Bang On

Nerds have really gone mainstream. Evidence is the popularity of the TV The Big Bang Theory. The little bits of clothing kitsch are becoming de facto clothing must haves. Now you can actually get the stuff worn on the show… I’m kinda leaning toward the ferrous wheel shirt worn by Leonard.

It’s In The Hole!

With regular TV getting more “relaxed” by the moment, it’s a wonder that this commercial was turned down by “TheBigGame” execs…

Getting Stronger Every Day

Marketing is an art. Good marketing requires an artist…

Choosing Between UPS & FedEx

Some will already point out that I am not including USPS in this. Easy. Their tracking system sucks. Now that we have that settled, time to move on. Both of these companies provide domestic shipping services with excellent tracking abilities. That is where the similarities end. For 99.9% of my package shipping, I choose UPS. Both will pick up at my doorstep or allow me to drop off in a variety of convenient locations. Both allow me to create a shipment transaction online. Both are reasonably priced. It’s when you bring up the subject of integrity that the choice is really made.

Both companies are not perfect and make mistakes. Time and time again… FedEx has lied to me about those mistakes. Several years ago I was to receive a rather large package from overseas. This package was filled with holiday presents and was insured at a rather high value. It also required an adult signature to deliver. You guessed it: the large package was left on my doorstep and it was subsequently stolen. I went through months of arguing with FedEx until they finally admitted that they were wrong. Recently, I was awaiting a shipment from New Mexico. It was supposed to be delivered on the 10th. Then it got changed to the 11th. That’s not a big deal. The night of the 11th (about 7:30pm), there’s a FedEx van out front. I walk out and ask if the driver has a package for me. “Maybe.” He spends an hour rummaging, giving me some story about how he didn’t load the truck and maybe the package is on this truck or another truck. He leaves. I check the tracking and it says that there is an exception: “Customer not available or business closed – Adult signature required”. That’s a complete fabrication. I was there the whole time. FedEx lost the package yesterday and cannot actually confirm that it is on the truck for delivery today. That makes at least one big fat lie and three days shot waiting for something to arrive that needs a signature.

What can brown do for me? Just what you have done before: tell me the truth when things go wrong.

Genius or WTF?

The plastic water bottle is the modern equivalent of cigarette butt trash from the 70’s… everywhere. So is water in a box the next great idea?

Service Industry Lessons

The epic movie Lonesome Dove had its moments. One of the best was this little lesson on customer interaction in the food service industry…

Useless Crap I Have

Most of our life effort can be divided into two neat activities: acquiring stuff and getting rid of stuff. Sure, there are other ways to do it, but this is an approach worth considering. I know several folks who have been up and down that continuum several times (on purpose!). As I look around my little section of the world, I notice that there is a lot of stuff. It occurs to me that some of this stuff is totally useless. So here’s my top 5 list of of worthless crap I own that I really should get rid of:

• Tortilla press. This is the old “manual” style with two handles. It’s far easier (and cheaper) to just by a sack of tortillas at the grocery store. I tried to use it as wall art, but that failed. Next garage sale, the thing is given tot he first person that looks at it.
• Tie hanger. This little gizmo looks like a small wire clothes hanger with a small chain attached to each end. The hook part of the hanger is supposed to attach to your shirt button and the chain restrains your necktie. I have no clue where it came from. I used to wear ties all the time but I never used this piece of silliness.
• Pedi Paws. My mother-in-law gave this gadget to us. It’s a battery operated torture device for pets. a spinning drum covered in abrasive is supposed to gently trim and shape your darling pet’s claws. She has two tiny yip dogs. We have two cats. We could have a sloth tranq’d up on 3 pounds of Xanax and it still would not put up with this whirring affliction. She probably knew that…
• Fax machine. For the early part of my life in corporate America the fax machine was an indispensable piece of modern technology. I’ve worked out of my home for a very long time and having one seemed like a good idea until email went mainstream. So I got rid of mine. And now I am in an industry that seems to have just discovered that faxes exist. So I had to actually go out and buy one. Huge, giant step backward. I’d use a fax/modem in my PC to send and receive, but it is a major pain to scan, convert, compose, attach to send a fax. So I am wasting precious flat office space to accommodate the Luddites. Does Obama want to make a significant dent in energy/resource waste in America? He should outlaw fax machines right now.
• Swing set. We have one of those galvanized steel pipe numbers in the backyard. It is sunk into the ground with concrete footers. It will likely survive a nuclear attack right along with cockroaches. It’s open pipe ends serve as a phenomenal homestead for every wasp and bee colony in the neighborhood. My parents bought it for us when the kids were tiny with the proclamation that this was the exact same kind that my brother and I had when we were kids. My kids are now 17 and 12. The swing set hasn’t been touched in years in a recreational way. The other day I drove past the home that I grew up in, stopped, and peeked over the fence. The swing set is still there.

What kind of useless/worthless crap is in your home?

Patronizing Black People

Nope. I do not mean spending money at black-owned establishments. I’m talking about pandering in a less than forthright manner. What would your reaction be if I told you that Dominos Pizza had set up a website that specifically targeted white people for education, employment, career advancement and entrepreneurship opportunities, and to meet real people whose lives have been touched by the Dominos enterprise? You’d cry racial foul, of course. So what if McDonald’s did the same thing… Except their public relations department chose to target black people… Would you still cry foul? Ladies and gentlemen… I give you:

McDonald’s 365 Black

Somebody please figure out a way to spin this so that it becomes acceptable…

Ladies’ Night!

WASHINGTON—As part of his administration’s continued efforts to stimulate the economy and liven up a slow weeknight, President Obama announced today that, effective immediately, Tuesdays will be half-off for ladies nationwide. “It is imperative to our economic health that we inject capital wisely and get some blondes in here, preferably hot young ones,” said Obama, who submitted a proposal before Congress to increase tube-top usage by 200 percent. “We can only escape this recession with the full cooperation of the American people—so ladies, please, bring your girlfriends. When did this country turn into such a sausage fest?” According to estimates by the Department of the Interior, the first national Ladies’ Night will be attended by an estimated 117 million men and one bachelorette party.