Customized Harley With No Limits

Words fail me. But there are certainly at least a bad jokes in there…

Strawberries For Anna

After we talked about strawberry fabulousity, I decided that I must locate and try a soufflé recipe with minimal cooking. This one, Chef Gary Robins, is mostly assembly work. The wimmins in the house pronounced it grand-i-mous.

Frozen Strawberry Soufflé

Ingredients
Praline
7 tablespoons sugar
3 ounces whole blanched hazelnuts (almonds can be substituted)
1⁄2 teaspoon peanut oil

Soufflé
1 pound strawberries, stemmed and hulled
1 cup plus 3 tablespoons sugar
5 egg whites
1⁄4 teaspoon orange zest
3 ounces hazelnut praline, crushed coarsely
1 and 1⁄4 cups heavy cream
2 tablespoons amaretto

Garnish
Remaining hazelnut praline
6 strawberries
6 sprigs of mint
Cooking Instructions
Praline
Lightly oil a sheet pan. Melt the sugar in a small saucepan over low heat, increasing the temperature gradually. Continue to cook until the sugar turns golden brown (swirl, but do not stir). Immediately fold in the hazelnuts, and quickly spread the mixture on the sheet pan. (The caramel will start to set very quickly.)

Soufflé
Cut six 13-by-4-inch strips of parchment or aluminum foil. Form into collars around six 6-ounce ramekins, and tape or tie in place.

Cut a quarter of the strawberries into 1⁄4-inch chunks, and toss with 3 tablespoons of sugar. Set aside to macerate for 20 minutes.

Purée the remaining strawberries in a blender or food processor, and reserve. Whip the egg whites until soft peaks form. Gradually sift in the remaining sugar, and whip until a stiff, light meringue forms. Fold in the orange zest, crushed praline, drained macerated strawberries, and strawberry purée.

Whip the cream until stiff, and fold into the strawberry meringue along with the amaretto. Ladle the mixture into the prepared ramekins, filling them to 1⁄2 inch from the top of the collars. Set on a tray, and freeze overnight. (The soufflés will keep in the freezer for a week.)

Remove the parchment, and garnish each soufflé with a fresh strawberry, a piece of praline, and a sprig of mint. Serve immediately.

Your AC Is Broken

 

… Or soon will be. If you have central air conditioning, there’s a good chance that there is a little pipe that is positioned over a window, door, or other conspicuous place. It’s in a conspicuous place so that you will know something is wrong when you see it dripping. It means that condensation has collected in the secondary drip pan. This is not a good thing. You should not run a new length of pipe so that the drip is not annoying. You should fix your friggin’ air conditioner. Normal condensation in the air conditioning process is sent through your normal sewer pipes and away from your life. Just in case things go wrong, a secondary pan is installed underneath the whole she-bang. That pan is drained to the annoying little spout dripping in a conspicuous place. It’s telling you that something is wrong. It could be that the main line is clogged or it could be something else. But it is not designed to go on like this forever. That pan will eventually rust out and then all of that lovely insulation will get soaked along with the sheetrock ceiling. It will eventually come falling down. And be MUCH more expensive than just fixing the AC the right way in the first place.

Dancing With The Stars Is For Wimps

This has got everything that DWTS has (dresses, technique, and effort) but more exertion and skill. Better expression, too. Just not so much cleavage.

Jackie Chan Is a Man

He does all his own stunts, has a sense of humor, and gets paid. A very nice compilation…

I Shot The Messenger

It’s true. He came right up to me with news from afar. I didn’t like the way he was dressed. I didn’t like the way his eyes looked. I didn’t like what he had to say. I didn’t like the way he smelled. I didn’t like the face that he didn’t use the sidewalk and walked across my lawn. I didn’t like the fact that he expected a tip. I really didn’t like the fact that he showed up after 7:00pm with no pork-laden pizza pie. So I shot him… I shot him down. I shot the messenger. But I did not shoot his general…

Shooting Blanks vs Brit’s Hoochie

One must assume that interest in Brit’s hoochie has declined over time. Sure, it used to generate stupendous amounts of traffic to this blog, but I guess the bloom (and the pubic hair) is off that rose. Now I am left to find another iconic post. A lightning rod that will generate at least a year’s worth of steady traffic. Somehow, I don’t think that the failure of the government of India to provide their Olympic athletes with ammunition to practice or compete is going to do it.

PETA To Shut Down Baseball & NASA

Apparently, People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has had enough with bird destruction. While these incidents took place in the past, PETA has decided that the lives of too many birds are, in fact, imperiled by the quest for knowledge and entertainment. As such, PETA is calling for an outright ban on all space exploration and the playing of baseball on all levels.

Ingrid Newkirk, president of PETA, had this to say: “Randy Johnson may be a pus-throwing fastballer who is now trying to hold it together in the twilight of his career. But while birds are in jeopardy, we must be vigilant. Who knows when the next phenom will obliterate an innocent pigeon? No. Baseball must stop. And NASA is not any better. How can a government funded endeavor purport to increase knowledge while cavalierly slaughtering innocent animals and then incinerate them in rocket exhaust. We fund government. We’ll stop this inhumanity.”

NSFW Boob Piercing No Go For TSA

Apparently, belly rings are not a threat to airline safety. Nipple rings are, however. At least in Texas. In another case of TSA making shit up as they go along, the woman, Mandi Hamlin, said she heard male TSA agents snickering as she took out the ring. She was scanned again and was allowed to board even though she still was wearing a belly button ring.

Sound Like a Band You’d Like?

XXX XXXXX embodies the theatrics and sound of Gwar and Marilyn Manson on acid with the nihilistic political agenda of KMFDM and Nine Inch Nails at a cock fight. It’s like watching a bunch of evil Muppets freaking out after 1 too many Frappucinos. Go here to find out who it is…