Skating For The Rest of Us

“This is not a group you would frequently hear at a figure skating event.”

Sahel Kazemi Slutster?

Police say McNair’s mistress, distraught about mounting financial problems and her belief that he was seeing someone else, shot him four times while he slept, then positioned herself next to her dead lover so that when she put the final bullet through her own brain she would crumple onto his lap. By the time police arrived, her body had fallen to the floor. So what would a 36 year old retired NFL quarterback with a wife of 12 years and 4 kids see in a 20 year old? Boobs. Slutty boobs. That he was willing to throw it all away for those slutty boobs is pretty amazing.

Vick Is Sprung

Michael Vick was released from prison today. He is headed to his home in Virginia for almost two years of home confinement anda construction work gig. Presumably, he is going to try to get back into the NFL. And before anyone starts carping about Vick’s “right” to play in the NFL… The NFL and its teams are private companies and do not have to hire any particular person.

Rockets Red Glare

“Hey, we’re part of the NBA, too,” Battier said. “We’ve got the NBA logo socks to prove it.” – Shane Battier.

I really did not expect the Rockets to give the Lakers much of a series. Hell, they have $40 million in annual salary injured and out for the season. Nobody on the Rockets team seems to be paying attention to the throngs of folks who said they shouldn’t have gotten this far. But now they are staring down a game 7 against the top seed int he Western conference. I have absolutely no clue as to how they keep on bitch slapping the Lakers (who seem to do a nice bitch slapping of their own). But it has been fun. The Rockets may win. But even if they lose, they’ve given the rest of the league the formula for winning, if not all the ingredients.

Roger Clemens: Full of Shit?

That he is an accomplished baseball player is not in question. From his Wikipedia page:

While he has two championship rings with the 1999-2000 Yankees, Clemens has also been on the losing end of four World Series (1986 Red Sox, 2001 and 2003 Yankees, and 2005 Astros), which is tied with Tom Glavine and John Smoltz (who were both on the Braves when they lost the ’91, ’92, ’96 and ’99 World Series) for the most among active players.

In 1999, while many of his performances and milestones were yet to come, he ranked number 53 on The Sporting News‘ list of the 100 Greatest Baseball Players, and was elected by the fans to the Major League Baseball All-Century Team. In 2005, the updated Sporting News list moved Clemens up to #15.

By the end of the 2005 season, Clemens had won seven Cy Young Awards (he won the AL award in 1986, 1987, 1991, 1997, 1998, and 2001, and the National League award in 2004), an MVP and two pitching triple crowns. With his 2004 win, he joined Gaylord Perry, Randy Johnson and Pedro Martínez as the only pitchers to win it in both leagues and became the oldest pitcher to ever win the Cy Young. He has also won The Sporting News Pitcher of the Year Award five times, was named an All-Star 11 times, and won the All-Star MVP in 1986.

In October 2006, Clemens was named to Sports Illustrated‘s “all-time” team.^[55]

On August 18 2007, Roger Clemens got his 1,000th strikeout as a Yankee. He is only the ninth player in major league history to record 1,000 or more strikeouts with two different teams. Clemens has recorded a total of 2,590 strikeouts as a member of the Red Sox and 1,014 strikeouts as a Yankee. Of his nearly quarter century in the Major Leagues, 13 years have been spent with the Red Sox and 5 with the New York Yankees.

Pretty impressive.  However, there are lots of “big names” that have been pinched with inolvement or use of steroids or other performance enhancing drugs. “With many fans believing allegations that the seven-time Cy Young Award winner used performance-enhancing drugs, he’s now attempting a different strategy. Clemens hired a firm that guides high-profile figures through public relations crises, and Tuesday he broke his silence with a radio appearance.” Story. Basically, he got kinda caught, acted like a total ass, gave an unconvincing performance before Congress, clammed up for a year, currently faces a grand jury ivestigation to see if he actually lied to Congress, had sex with an underage country singer, and has now hired Levick Strategic Communications to “clean up” his image.

Clemens said he chose to speak out because of the release date of a book about his alleged drug use. “It’s important for me to do that,” he said. “I’ve seen excerpts of the book and they’re completely false. … You know, guys, it’s piling on. It’s hurtful at times. But I’m moving on.” Moving on generally doesn’t involve stitting the shit back up. It’s over, man. Wormer dropped the big one. Ask Mark McGuire. He might have used performance enhancing substances, though he has never admitted to or been convicted of any steroid use, many of his accomplishments, particularly his historic home run surge late in his career, have come into question due to his connection to the steroid scandal in Major League Baseball. Despite being under a cloud of suspicion for years, McGwire has repeatedly refused to discuss his involvement, or lack thereof, with steroids and performance-enhancing drugs. Still, he will likely never make it to the baseball hall of fame.

And neither will Roger Clemens. He’s so full of shit that he’ll also be sitting outside the hall forever. Roger screwed up and nobody will probably ever know the full extent of the screw-up(s). Maybe Roger should listen to his own words and let it go?

Black Men Can’t Shoot

No, I’m not trying to play the race card here (or maybe I am). It seems to me that the NBA has certainly evolved into a flash and sizzle league, woefully lacking in fundamentals. My kingdom for a shooter! Perhaps recruitment should take place in college frat houses populated with spoiled white boys that spend far too much time on beer?

Clemens=Pathetic

Is it possible to have screwed up a perfect life more completely than Roger Clemens did to his own? Perhaps one of the greatest pitchers, ever, in baseball (a sport that I equate to watching dry paint fade)… Rogers ridiculous behavior, including a dozen or so apartments scattered around the country to house his ladies, sex with a minor, possible lying to Congress, lying to his fans, steroids… He’s now a caricature of himself. An embarrassing footnote in the history of sport and life. Will he ever make it to the Hall of Fame? Should he?

I Wanna Be Like Mutombo

He stands 7 foot 2 inches and is way past 40. He has played for 18 years in the NBA, the last 5 seasons with the Houston Rockets. He went down with a “career ending” knee injury in last night’s playoff game. He isn’t covered in tattoos. He speaks like the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street. He doesn’t choke coaches, shirk practice, or bad mouth his team. He speaks English, French, Portuguese, Spanish and five African languages. He served as an intern for The World Bank and for the Congress of The United States. He has 6 children (4 adopted), Through his Foundation and largely from hi own contributions, Dikembe opened a 300-bed hospital on the outskirts of his hometown, the Congolese capital of Kinshasa. His stat pack for the NBA is pretty impressive:

• 4-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year: 1995, 1997, 1998, 2001
• 8-time NBA All-Star: 1992, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 2000, 2001, 2002
• 3-time All-NBA:

• Second Team: 2001
• Third Team: 1998, 2002

• 6-time All-Defensive:

• First Team: 1997, 1998, 2001
• Second Team: 1995, 1999, 2002

• NBA All-Rookie First Team: 1992
• 2nd on All-Time NBA recorded Blocks, 3.256.
• 2-time NBA regular-season leader, rebounding average: 2000 (14.1), 2001 (13.5)
• 4-time NBA regular-season leader, total rebounds: 1995 (1029), 1997 (929), 1999 (610), 2000 (1157)
• NBA regular-season leader, offensive rebounds: 2001 (307)
• 2-time NBA regular-season leader, defensive rebounds: 1999 (418), 2000 (853)
• 3-time NBA regular-season leader, blocked shots average: 1994 (4.1), 1995 (3.9), 1996 (4.5)
• 5-time NBA regular-season leader, total blocks: 1994 (336), 1995 (321), 1996 (332), 1997 (264), 1998 (277)
• Career averages (as of March 2008): 9.9 PPG, 10.4 RPG, 2.7 BPG
• Invited to be a special guest at President George W. Bush’s State of the Union address, commended for his humanitarian aid to his homeland.
• Oldest player in NBA history to collect over 20 rebounds in a game (March 2 2007 vs. Denver Nuggets)

I wanna be like him. We need more folks like him… everywhere.

Super Bowl Gluttony

I’m assuming that I will eventually get some kind of notice saying that I do not have permission to use the name of the big game on my blog. Oh well. I will be heading out in just a bit to have brunch with my mother in law. After that, I will begin assembling all of the snack/appetizer type foods for grazing during the game.

• A vat of chile con queso made with Velveeta and roasted Hatch chile
• A couple of pounds of cold boiled shrimp
• Armadillo eggs (jalapenos stuffed with jack cheese, wrapped with bacon and broiled)
• Cowboy turds (same thing, but stuffed with refried beans)
• Various dips and chips
• Sliced venison sausage
• Various sodas, beers, juices, and booze
• Veggie tray with bleu cheese dip
• One sliced up, left-over Subway sandwich ($5 footlong Spicy Italian)
• Bowl of Zantac 150 cool mint

As for the game, I have no idea how to bet this thing. The ATS number varies between the Steeler -6.5 and 7. I’d feel more comfy with that number getting to 7.5 and taking the Cards. BUT… the vig (what the bookie charges on a losing bet) wobbles all the way from +105 to -115 to take the Steelers side and -105 to -125 to take the Cards. Has that much money already been dumped on the cards that the book has to jack with the line by buying it? The money line (a straight bet on one team to win) for the Cards has steadily shrunk from anreasonable 240 down to 205. The Prop bets may wind up being more fun to jack with.

NFL Drama Day

To say that the last Sunday of the 2008 NFL season provided drama is a massive understatement. Where to begin? Let’s start with an NFL first: the Detroit Lions managed to provide their fans with a completely winless season. That’s one coach fired. The mighty Dallas Cowboys, once dubbed “America’s Team”, couldn’t get out of their own way or even figure out how to play a few downs with both hands around their own throats. They were humiliated by the Philadelphia Eagles, which is fitting since the peristaltic spasm known as T.O. used to play for Philly. Dallas will watch the playoffs from the sidelines.

But wait… there’s more. There’s another Texas angle. Chicago might have made it to the playoffs, but for the Houston Texans. The Bears loss to the 8-8 Houston team knocked the Windy City into the recliner along with Dallas. New England lost their shining star in Tom Brady, played with a relative unknown at QB, managed to rack up an 11-5 record… and still missed the playoffs. All of that is fine fodder for the water cooler.

The best story, however has to be the Jets Dolphins game. We all know how Brett Favre cried and quivered in his retirement dance. He held the Green Bay Packers hostage to emotion for just one more season and they finally just cut him loose. The New York Jets threw their hat in the ring and asked the old one to take the helm of the faltering franchise. In so doing, the Jets ditched their developing QB, Chad Pennington, to Miami. Miami was 1-15 last season and Chad wasn’t all that solid, so this seemed like a good move. The Jets started winning a few games and pundits were preparing their “oh no… here come the Jets!” headlines. But you have to play the game. And the game was played yesterday. The Dolphins toppled the Jets. Favre was humiliated, his coach was fired, and Pennington vindicated as the Dolphins secured the AFC East title.