If you have been reading this blog for any appreciable length of time, you know that I have a barely tenable relationship with my home appliances. I have had most of them for 20ish years and last year I saw the beginning of the end. First, the clothes dryer crapped out. Being 20 years old, parts for the thing were astronomical, so it got replaced. I was a cunning consumer and bought a scratch and dent for under $200. Then, the fridge took a dumper. Not a complete, satisfying dump, but a partial. It would almost keep things cold and the valve structure that controlled the water flow to the ice maker turned into a modern art sculpture. New fridge with all the bells and whistles. At that point, I predicted that the rest of the appliances in our house would form a conspiracy and join in revolt against us. I was only wrong about the timing.
That cheap dryer that I bought? It has already crapped out. There’s a laundry list (get it?) of things that are wrong with it. I know, you get what you pay for. That 20 year old washing machine? It makes noises that a Pentecostal preacher would be proud of. It stopped getting clothes clean sometime in the early 90’s. I’ve been looking at new washer dryer sets and preparing myself for something akin to what I paid for my first car. I know what’s coming. I took my neighbor with me to one of the mega stores. Bitter Bill is WAY out of touch with the cost of appliances these days. He’s a single guy that doesn’t actually put a load on his washer or dryer. He pointed at a washer and said “See, $89. Buy this one and be done.” “$89 is for the extended WARRANTY, you cr@p stick!” At which point, Bill started whining like a stuck pig at the concept of a washing machine that would cost nearly a thousand bucks. Have I mentioned that all of Bill’s clothes look gray? I told my wife to prepare for the worst. No interest for a year will be the only saving grace.
Next up on the failure list? The hot water heater (16 years old in the Houston area does not bode well) and the stove/oven combo. We’ll make the vacuum cleaner keep going. We pulled all the carpet out several years ago and I refuse to spend serious money to suck the dirt out of two area rugs…
UPDATE: Holy crap! Thank goodness for 0% financing for 1 year…
Non Sequitur 