Revenge Toy!

I was first introduced to the gadgets above at the Knob Creek Machinegun Shoot. It’s sorta like a gun show totally amped up on every steroid available to man or beast. But just like any other show for enthusiasts, the exhibitors have a standard litany of complaints. At gun shows, the complaints are actually few, but rather universally felt:

  • The foreplay folks. These are folks that are just coming to gawk. That, by itself, would be fine. A lot of exhibitors actually like to show off their cool stuff and talk about it. But a lot of these lookie-loo’s like to pick up, fondle, caress, work and maw the rather expensive firearms with no intention of buying and no thought of asking permission first. “Please do not handle without permission” signs are particularly ineffective against this group as they most likely cannot read. I actually heard a vendor, on the last day of a grueling show, finally lose his cool. A middle aged armchair commando type had spent nearly 30 minutes pawing and working the action back and forth on a rather expensive machinegun. The vendor finally lost it and asked the guy “You gonna keeep on finger f@ckin’ that gun or are you gonna man up and sleep with it?”.
  • Backpackers. Not hippie backpackers but the folks who feel the need to bring an enormous backpack full of stuff that weighs 90 pounds and take up the space of a large child. Curiously, the folks who have these backpacks tend to the portly side, but I digress. These folks have a habit of going from table to table, taking off the backpack and setting it down and then swinging the backpack back up onto their backs or shoulders upon departure. Lather, rinse, repeat. Unfortunately, as stated, these backpacks are big (along with their owners) and the shows are usually crowded. That means either somebody is gonna get whacked every time that backpack swings or merchandise on display is gonna get toppled, scratched and nicked up. Murfled apologies of “sorry dude” when the backpack just knocked over a rifle/scope combo into another display causing a need for $200 worth of finish repair don’t quite suffice.
  • Kids. God bless ’em. Really. But do not take little irresponsible kids to gun shows. Especially when you cannot keep your little kiddies corralled and under control. We don’t wanna spend a half hour listening to how our gun was used by The Rock in Doom, The Movie. We can’t sell guns to kids, remember? And folks who do want to buy guns really do not want to hear a kid prattling on and distracting us. And then there are the kids who think that gun shows are their own personal toy box. These are not toys. You do not need to touch every item on the table, especially since you forgot wipe off the cheesy nachos and chili from your hands. Setting boundaries for your child is your job. That’s where the revenge toy comes in.

Some friends of mine regulary work the show circuit and they had a pair of the toys poictured above set out on their table. Almost without fail, the toys held more fascination for the little miscreants than the guns. Ah, cool. Protection by a throw down distraction! But wait, there’s more. These are remote control futuristic tanks that can “shoot” each other. And when your tank gets shot, you get shocked. There are two settings. One of those setting levels will most definitely get your attention. My set arrives today from ThinkGeek. Click the picture to get your own pair…


November 2008
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