Archive for November 29th, 2008


Revenge Toy!

I was first introduced to the gadgets above at the Knob Creek Machinegun Shoot. It’s sorta like a gun show totally amped up on every steroid available to man or beast. But just like any other show for enthusiasts, the exhibitors have a standard litany of complaints. At gun shows, the complaints are actually few, but rather universally felt:

  • The foreplay folks. These are folks that are just coming to gawk. That, by itself, would be fine. A lot of exhibitors actually like to show off their cool stuff and talk about it. But a lot of these lookie-loo’s like to pick up, fondle, caress, work and maw the rather expensive firearms with no intention of buying and no thought of asking permission first. “Please do not handle without permission” signs are particularly ineffective against this group as they most likely cannot read. I actually heard a vendor, on the last day of a grueling show, finally lose his cool. A middle aged armchair commando type had spent nearly 30 minutes pawing and working the action back and forth on a rather expensive machinegun. The vendor finally lost it and asked the guy “You gonna keeep on finger f@ckin’ that gun or are you gonna man up and sleep with it?”.
  • Backpackers. Not hippie backpackers but the folks who feel the need to bring an enormous backpack full of stuff that weighs 90 pounds and take up the space of a large child. Curiously, the folks who have these backpacks tend to the portly side, but I digress. These folks have a habit of going from table to table, taking off the backpack and setting it down and then swinging the backpack back up onto their backs or shoulders upon departure. Lather, rinse, repeat. Unfortunately, as stated, these backpacks are big (along with their owners) and the shows are usually crowded. That means either somebody is gonna get whacked every time that backpack swings or merchandise on display is gonna get toppled, scratched and nicked up. Murfled apologies of “sorry dude” when the backpack just knocked over a rifle/scope combo into another display causing a need for $200 worth of finish repair don’t quite suffice.
  • Kids. God bless ’em. Really. But do not take little irresponsible kids to gun shows. Especially when you cannot keep your little kiddies corralled and under control. We don’t wanna spend a half hour listening to how our gun was used by The Rock in Doom, The Movie. We can’t sell guns to kids, remember? And folks who do want to buy guns really do not want to hear a kid prattling on and distracting us. And then there are the kids who think that gun shows are their own personal toy box. These are not toys. You do not need to touch every item on the table, especially since you forgot wipe off the cheesy nachos and chili from your hands. Setting boundaries for your child is your job. That’s where the revenge toy comes in.

Some friends of mine regulary work the show circuit and they had a pair of the toys poictured above set out on their table. Almost without fail, the toys held more fascination for the little miscreants than the guns. Ah, cool. Protection by a throw down distraction! But wait, there’s more. These are remote control futuristic tanks that can “shoot” each other. And when your tank gets shot, you get shocked. There are two settings. One of those setting levels will most definitely get your attention. My set arrives today from ThinkGeek. Click the picture to get your own pair…


Death Threat Spam

Spam had actually slowed down a bit when that bad old bot net was taken off line. But it’s back with a vengeance. The congealed sludge river of spam now flows at its normal pace and mailboxes are clogged with amazing ease again. Efforts continue to shut down the command and control servers, but this is the Internet equivalent of playing whack-a-mole. There will always be somebody willing to host this ridiculous activity because there is money involved. And there are millions of compromised machines out there because too many folks are too stupid to operate their computers safely (for themselves and others). So the casino spam, the at home typer spam, the mortgage spam, the Nigerian scam spam,  the debt liquidation spam, the boob enlargement spam… all of it is now flowing at full force. Got a new one today in 12 of my mailboxes. A new level of gross:

I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this if you don’t comply, i was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it  within 10 days.

Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names, photograph and other necessary information we needed about you. If you are in doubt with this I will send you your name and where you are residing in my next mail.

Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead by all means. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the place you think is safer for you to hide might not be.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, $8,000 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay
$3,000 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $5,000. If you are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment after all I have already being paid before now.

Warning: do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want you dead, and the person knows some members of your family as well.

For your own good I will advise you not to go out once is 7pm until I make out time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who want you dead then you can use it to take any legal action. Good luck as I await your
reply to this e-mail contact:( )

Mr.Jack Brown.