Chinese Olympic Craptastica

The Olympics are almost done. Here’s your synopsis:

  • Michael Phelps set all kinds of amazing swimming records and will now earn enough money to get his teeth fixed, should he choose to do so.
  • That Bolt guy from Jamaica has a perfect name. As in Lightning Bolt. He leaves the other competitors in the dust in the 100m and 200m sprint and does it effortlessly. And the guy is about a quart low on blood and pee from all the tests he has given up (all clean).
  • The Chinese faked the opening fireworks with CGI graphics at the opening ceremony and were caught.
  • The Chinese faked an opening ceremony singing act with a lip-synch and were caught.
  • NBC continues to ignore the Chinese government track record on human rights issues (even though other host governments have come under scrutiny in previous years).
  • The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has launched an inquiry as to whether the Chinese girls gymnastic team may have a few underage participants (you think?).
  • The Olympic athletes have not gone through nearly as many condoms as the Chinese government had thoughtfully provided.
  • Men’s synchronized diving should not be the lead weekday evening prime time event.
  • Given that the all powerful, male, 18-34 age group was thunderstruck by wimmins beach volleyball, expect to see a 24/7 cable or satellite channel starting soon.
  • Is it really a powerful marketing synergy to have Budweiser sponsoring the Olympics? I get the point that pretty much anyone with the ducats should be able to flog their wares. But beer just doesn’t make sense. Well, maybe for softball, but that ceases to be an Olympic sport after this year.

2 Responses to “Chinese Olympic Craptastica”

  1. August 22, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    I think Budweiser knows it market: They are sitting on their couches watching the Olympics and their heart rate goes up slightly when it’s a close race, thus they say, “Wow, that was awesome. Hey Honey, get me a beer.”

    Why should watching the Olympics be that much different that watching a football game? Or a ballet? Most guys I know want a beer during football and one after the ballet.


  2. August 25, 2008 at 7:40 am

    Well, you seemed to have actually watched the Olympics. Except for me being in my brother’s house when it was on, I am proud to say I didn’t directly watch a second of it. I think I am the better person for it. 🙂

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