Like, It’s The Mall

Sunday was the day I tortured myself. Oldest daughter was off with her very important social circle. So I took youngest daughter and wifey out to lunch and a Katy Mills Mall. Typically, I only go into BassPro and never venture forth into the mall proper. Now I know why.

The mall trip was designed to put some cash in youngest daughter’s hands and let he make some shopping decisions for herself. It was designed to be fun and a math lesson all at once. It also turned out to be a lesson in how to piss off Daddy. About every 100 yards, somebody would come up to us and ask us to either: do a survey, try this, smell this, give me just a minute to demonstrate our hair straightener, or extol the virtues of teeth whitening (yes, you can get your teeth bleached in a chair in the middle of the mall causeway). Add all of this to the fact that everyone and their uncles seemed determined to meander directly in front of me without looking. I was ready to drop a shoulder and just lay somebody, anybody, out. Antagonizing me does NOT encourage me to spend money.

Thankfully, youngest daughter did not buy a hermit crab but did manage to come home with change. Attagirl!


1 Response to “Like, It’s The Mall”

  1. July 14, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    I learned a really great trick in the UK for dealing with malls like that. Works like a charm here too. Pick a point in the distance, one the ceiling, and very obviously stare at it while walking briskly in a straight line. Magically, everyone parts like the F%&^ing Red Sea.

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