25
Jun
08

The End Of Childhood

I’ve figured it out. I know when childhood ends. I know this because it happened yesterday. My youngest daughter (who is actually starting junior high school) farted in public. Now farting in public is not such a big thing. We all do it. Some of us even contemplate ways to do it without getting caught. George Carlin invoked the “one cheek sneak” for floating an air biscuit in church. But I digress. It’s not that my darling militant midget ripped one in public. It’s that she did it with a bit of embarrassment and trepidation. It used to be that any expulsion of gas from the body was met with giggles, laughter and pointing. Not anymore. And my oldest daughter, she of the full drivers license, hasn’t actually farted since she started wearing makeup. Childhood ends when you worry about getting caught farting in public.

It resumes about 15 years later… you just learn about timing and all that. If you are male and in your 40’s, timing goes out the window. You tend to stand around together in the driveway and play a sort of can you top this with your farts. You ask if somebody stepped on a duck, or is looking for the famous barking spider. Of course, in another 40 years you are able to crap yourself and nobody will care… so it’s kind of a full circle thing.

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1 Response to “The End Of Childhood”


  1. June 25, 2008 at 11:04 pm

    ::giggles, laughs, points::


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