Archive for December 27th, 2007

27
Dec
07

Your Christmas Did Not Stink

Wherever it was, it had to be a lot better than the place Robert Schoff found himself in. The 77-year-old Des Moines, Iowa man began his holiday with a toilet problem. So he went out to his septic tank and tried to remove the clog. Instead, it removed him. The senior lost his balance and fell into the slop, with his head trapped inside and his feet kicking wildly in the air. The 5’5″, 135-lbs. man tried yelling for help at the top of his lungs but no one heard him. “It was the worst Christmas Eve I’ve ever had.”

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27
Dec
07

This Will Hurt You

A box of gun parts, a passing interest in welding, and a can do attitude. How could anything go wrong? Follow the accident waiting to happen as it comes to life before your very eyes! It’s a gun, people. A gun that fires a rather big bullet. A gun that was designed to function within some reasonable specifications. Remind me to be in a different hemisphere when this abomination gets tested.

27
Dec
07

Football vs Law, Part 2

Law wins round 2. The NFL has been involved in what some would call a bitter feud with companies such as Time Warner and Comcast. See, the NFL came up with this idea to start their own network called… The NFL Network (cunning). Their idea was to create another venue to showcase games and bilk, er, milk advertising dollars from sponsors. Marquee match-ups would be televised on the NFL Network toward the back half of the year. Ah, but there’s a rub. Fewer than 40% of the nation’s TV homes actually get the NFL Network because two of the biggest providers, Comcast and Time Warner, do not provide it as part of a basic package. Backtrack for a moment… the trend of putting supposedly good match-ups on non-over-the-air stations is not new. Witness the migration of Monday Night Football to ESPN.

A lot of folks started to get peeved that they could not watch the “good games”. Team owners such as the plastic surgery black hole known as Jerry Jones even took out advertisements urging fans to move to providers that coughed up the NFL Netowk for free. Pressure was pretty intense for the Dallas vs Green Bay game. But now… the Patriots are scheduled to play the Giants on Saturday night. The Patriots are taking their shot at having a perfect season. Over 60% of the viewing fan base would have been blacked out. Not to fear. Lawmakers have pressured the NFL to ensure more viewers could see the game. Last week, two prominent members of the Senate Judiciary Committee sent a letter to Goodell threatening to reconsider the league’s antitrust exemption. And so the game will also be simulcast on CBS and NBC so that all of America can see the game if they so desire. Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., who co-wrote the letter with Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., said he was “delighted” by the NFL’s concession.

I am fairly certain that there are more important things on the Senate’s plate at the moment. That said, I already get the NFL Network on Dish.

27
Dec
07

In The Name Of God

  • Africans annihilating each other
  • Arab states vs. Israel
  • Pakistan vs. itself
  • China vs. Tibet or Nepal
  • Protestant vs. Catholic
  • One flavor of Muslim vs. another
  • And on and on and on…

Surely there can be no God that would actually sanction the taking of another life? Rodney King, man… Rodney King.

27
Dec
07

How To Start a War

Pakistan opposition leader Benazir Bhutto was assassinated Thursday in a suicide attack that also killed at least 20 others at a campaign rally, aides said. This will not turn out well. LOTS more people will die.