Holiday Cheer In a Pile of Poop

NEW YORK (AFP) – A former New York doorman who slipped on a pile of pigeon droppings on a subway station’s stairs has been awarded six million dollars in compensation, according to a report on Monday. Fifty-six-year-old Shelton Stewart slipped on the station steps in 1998, injuring his neck and back, despite saying he had noticed the pile of excrement on his way to work the same day, the New York Post reported. A jury awarded Stewart 7.67 million dollars in damages, but New York city’s transit authority only has to pay 80 percent of the sum, or 6.13 million, since Stewart was found 20 percent liable for failing to avoid the fecal pile. Stewart was reportedly planning to use his windfall to buy a house and take his two daughters and grandchild to Disney World in Florida.

That’s right folks. A man who was too STUPID to avoid walking in a pile of poop becomes the country’s next millionaire at the expense of New York City. The concept of evolution is supposed to weed out the less worthy from the gene pool, not make them rich.


%d bloggers like this: