Coffee Trouble


I realize that some folks can get a little passionate about their coffee. But these folks are just a bit, shall we say, over the top. Have a look at this here excerpt from their informational website:

Green coffee is almost impervious to aging and can be stored in your cellar for years. But once it’s roasted the flavor degrades immediately and gets worse over time. Yet despite this dire warning, never attempt to roast coffee yourself. As an amateur you will ruin your beans with your cockamamie, half-assed attempt. No yuppie-toy flower-faggot kitchentop roaster will ever match the precision built, multi-thousand-dollar batch roasters used by professionals who know what the fuck they are doing. That you’re already insisting on brewing coffee at home instead of going to an experienced barista is bad enough, do not make it worse than it already is. The roasted coffee you buy is the last outpost of expertise before a barren wasteland of idiots wielding cheap-ass equipment sloshed with harsh detergents and banged around with simian clumsiness in bacteria infested kitchens that no coffee bean should ever be punished by inhabiting. If you really like the taste of your coffee, know that it all comes from the skill of the roaster and all you had to do is follow some simple fucking instructions.

Rather. My apologies for the language…


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