Archive for October 1st, 2007

01
Oct
07

Having Women Do Your Bidding

Snopes says it really was printed in a 1943 article from Mass Transportation…

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees

  • Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
  • When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
  • General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
  • Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.
  • Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.
  • Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.
  • Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.
  • Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.
  • Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.
  • Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.
  • Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.”
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01
Oct
07

David Carr Sucks

At least as an NFL quarterback. Carr got the nod to start on Sunday in place of the Carolina Panther’s injured starter, Jake Delhomme. Throughout the week, Carr made veiled references to how his previous team, the Texans, didn’t really give him the support he needed and that somehow his suckiness was not really his own fault. On Sunday, Carr got his ass handed to him. He completed just 19 of 41 pass attempts for 155 yards. He threw one pick and got sacked three times in a 20 – 7 whooping at the hands of Tampa Bay. Carr’s current QB rating is a dismal 60.5. For comparison purposes, his rating in Houston was 77.2 in 2005 and and 82.1 in 2006. Yep. He sucks, verily.

01
Oct
07

Papers Please!

The United States has now joined the rest of the world. If you want to travel and get back in to the United States, you’ve got to have a Passport. That includes visits to Mexico, Bermuda, Canada, etc. No more flashing of a drivers license or a birth certificate. Gotta get yourself one of them Passports. You know, the new kind with the chip embedded in it so that they can track your every move from orbiting satellites. That same data stream that private detectives and hackers can break into and know when you’ve been cheating on your spouse (and where). Of course, the nefarious angles can be defeated by wrapping the Passport and your head in tin foil… or just not bringing the Passport to your tryst. Get your Passport here.

01
Oct
07

Moderation, People!

Take 20 cooks, three hours, and well over seven tons of, lettuce, tomatoes, onins, peppers, and olives… and you wind up with one heckuva case of colon blow… Thanks to Spluch for giving me hope that my trip to the salad bar isn’t so impressive after all…

01
Oct
07

Odds Worsen

A little more than 20 years ago, my wife’s parents gave us a black and white mut kitten as a wedding present. This cat was the runt female from a runt litter. She soon turned me from an indifferent pet owner to a cat lover. 19 years later, she passed away. It took the house all of three days to realize that a new cat must take over. We picked up Daffodil, a whiteish, horrible paint can disaster of a mutt, from the local shelter and life has been pretty good. Once again, I adjusted to the concept of being the only male in the house.

Oldest daughter (she of the over-applied make-up and over-zealous interest in high school boys) has friend with a black cat. Well, almost cat; around a year old. This black cat is the pet of my oldest daughter’s favorite girlfriend. But favorite girlfriend is moving to California and I was not told of this new legislation that bans the importaion of cats into that state. I have been asked whether we could bring “Kidney” into our home. First, how stupid a name for a cat is that??? I’ve been hemming and hawing over this issue not really wanting to make a decision. Last night, a black cat showed up in my house whilst I was watching the football game and sipping a Scotch.

My wife, both daughters, and little black cat staring at me with looks that said “please, please, please…” And then the two cats proceeded to make strange noises. Over last night, they went their separate ways. However, I know that they had clandestine kitty talks and have determined that they are both female and that all of the females in the house way outnumber me, the lowly male. Right now, Daffodil is doing her morning thing (checking the preimeter and preparing for a nap) and Kidney is hiding under oldest daughter’s bed. I give myself survival odd os 1 in 3.