Service Industry Lessons

The epic movie Lonesome Dove had its moments. One of the best was this little lesson on customer interaction in the food service industry…

Useless Crap I Have

Most of our life effort can be divided into two neat activities: acquiring stuff and getting rid of stuff. Sure, there are other ways to do it, but this is an approach worth considering. I know several folks who have been up and down that continuum several times (on purpose!). As I look around my little section of the world, I notice that there is a lot of stuff. It occurs to me that some of this stuff is totally useless. So here’s my top 5 list of of worthless crap I own that I really should get rid of:

• Tortilla press. This is the old “manual” style with two handles. It’s far easier (and cheaper) to just by a sack of tortillas at the grocery store. I tried to use it as wall art, but that failed. Next garage sale, the thing is given tot he first person that looks at it.
• Tie hanger. This little gizmo looks like a small wire clothes hanger with a small chain attached to each end. The hook part of the hanger is supposed to attach to your shirt button and the chain restrains your necktie. I have no clue where it came from. I used to wear ties all the time but I never used this piece of silliness.
• Pedi Paws. My mother-in-law gave this gadget to us. It’s a battery operated torture device for pets. a spinning drum covered in abrasive is supposed to gently trim and shape your darling pet’s claws. She has two tiny yip dogs. We have two cats. We could have a sloth tranq’d up on 3 pounds of Xanax and it still would not put up with this whirring affliction. She probably knew that…
• Fax machine. For the early part of my life in corporate America the fax machine was an indispensable piece of modern technology. I’ve worked out of my home for a very long time and having one seemed like a good idea until email went mainstream. So I got rid of mine. And now I am in an industry that seems to have just discovered that faxes exist. So I had to actually go out and buy one. Huge, giant step backward. I’d use a fax/modem in my PC to send and receive, but it is a major pain to scan, convert, compose, attach to send a fax. So I am wasting precious flat office space to accommodate the Luddites. Does Obama want to make a significant dent in energy/resource waste in America? He should outlaw fax machines right now.
• Swing set. We have one of those galvanized steel pipe numbers in the backyard. It is sunk into the ground with concrete footers. It will likely survive a nuclear attack right along with cockroaches. It’s open pipe ends serve as a phenomenal homestead for every wasp and bee colony in the neighborhood. My parents bought it for us when the kids were tiny with the proclamation that this was the exact same kind that my brother and I had when we were kids. My kids are now 17 and 12. The swing set hasn’t been touched in years in a recreational way. The other day I drove past the home that I grew up in, stopped, and peeked over the fence. The swing set is still there.

What kind of useless/worthless crap is in your home?

Patronizing Black People

Nope. I do not mean spending money at black-owned establishments. I’m talking about pandering in a less than forthright manner. What would your reaction be if I told you that Dominos Pizza had set up a website that specifically targeted white people for education, employment, career advancement and entrepreneurship opportunities, and to meet real people whose lives have been touched by the Dominos enterprise? You’d cry racial foul, of course. So what if McDonald’s did the same thing… Except their public relations department chose to target black people… Would you still cry foul? Ladies and gentlemen… I give you:

McDonald’s 365 Black

Somebody please figure out a way to spin this so that it becomes acceptable…

Ladies’ Night!

WASHINGTON—As part of his administration’s continued efforts to stimulate the economy and liven up a slow weeknight, President Obama announced today that, effective immediately, Tuesdays will be half-off for ladies nationwide. “It is imperative to our economic health that we inject capital wisely and get some blondes in here, preferably hot young ones,” said Obama, who submitted a proposal before Congress to increase tube-top usage by 200 percent. “We can only escape this recession with the full cooperation of the American people—so ladies, please, bring your girlfriends. When did this country turn into such a sausage fest?” According to estimates by the Department of the Interior, the first national Ladies’ Night will be attended by an estimated 117 million men and one bachelorette party.

The Credit Card Thing, Part II

Recently, I made a post about the new credit card legislation passed by the Senate. There’s been a lot of speculation as to how this bit of law will affect consumers. Here’s a great true/false piece on what to take away from the bill. Of course, I’m thoroughly amused that a piece of legislation was quietly slipped into the fine print of the bill… and it got swept into the master plan with hardly a peep. What am I prattling on about? An amendment to this bill includes a provision to allow the carrying of loaded weapons into national parks. That means that a whole bunch of Democrats will be presenting the President with legislation that expands the legal use of firearms, as opposed to contracting it.

Yep, a bill whose main purpose was to protect consumers from “the fine print” got piggybacked with some fine print of its own. This is known as legislative extortion. But lest anyone cry foul, this has been a part of the legislative status quo for ages. It would be solved by a line item veto provision for the President, but whenver the issue came down to it, no Congress could actually get behind it because it’s the only way they know of to get things accomplished when there are opposing dogmatic viewpoints (always).

Voting Against Credit Card Reform

The Senate recently passed the Credit Cardholders’ Bill of Rights Act of 2009. It seems like a slam-dunk that has nothing but the consumers’ interest at heart. Nobody should be against this, right? But 5 Senators *did* vote against it: Alexander (R-TN), Bennett (R-UT), Johnson (D-SD), Kyl (R-AZ) and Thune (R-SD).  Not voting on the bill at all: Byrd (D-WV), Ensign (R-NV), Kennedy (D-MA) and Rockefeller (D-WV). Why would anyone be against this? Yes, credit card company fees, rates and charges can border on usury. But what if the credit card industry decides to combat their new risk exposure with decreased lending? Think it will not happen? Look at current credit markets. Rates are down but it can be quite difficult to actually secure that credit. Credit card companies will likely follow suit. Your interest rate will go down, but so will your line of credit, or open to buy. Carrying a $5,000 balance? Expect your line of credit to get reduced each time you make a payment. Best of luck. Once again, government trying to manage something they have no skill at running will have dramatic, unintended consequences.

Race No Longer an Issue

It’s heartening to know that black people and white people can shop without fear at the Red House furniture store in High Point, North Carolina.

Damaged By The King

We’ve all heard about those amazing lawsuits involving fast food chains. They usually involve some wild-ass claim. There’s a guy suing BK for screwing up his order in Virginia. Seems kind of silly, eh? But when you read the actual lawsuit, it would appear that the plaintiff genuinely feels like he has been damaged by BK’s mistake. I get it and am actually gratified to see that somebody actually considered how they were damaged as a basis for the lawsuit. I guess the questions are…  Assuming one knew about a severe allergic reaction to a particular substance (presumably, that’s why he specifically ordered his meal without the ingrdient), wouldn’t a reasonable person actually check the item to be consumed before consuming it to avoid such reactions? Or does the sole responsibility for one’s health and welfare, or injury to that health, reside with the provider of substances that affect it? I gotta think that making BK responsible for insuring that you do not have allergic reactions is kind of silly.

Fried Foot Massage

If only…

The Cost of Butt Vision

It has taken a bit for my medical insurance provider to assimilate and process the claims for my recent colonoscopy. I thought I would share the results with you. At least, the results as they exist right now. I have no doubt that there will be even more fiddling and massaging of the expenses by involved parties.

• Doctor’s fees for “surgery” and consultation: $1,320
• Facility fees for the procedure: $3,300
• Pathology fees for tissue exam: $1,107
• Pharmacy fees for “cleansing” product: $59.99
• Total for the whole she-bang: $5,786.98

But how did those costs get broken out? What did insurance cover? What did it bounce, what did it discount and what got “written off”?

• The doctor was not a “preferred” provider. The translation of that is that the doctor has not agreed to “accept” the plan allowance offered by my insurance company. In this case, the plan allowance was a total of $402.21. Since he was out of network, my deductible of $300 kicked in, so the insurance company paid him a grand total of $71.56, leaving me owing my doctor $1,248.44.
• The facility is a preferred provider. My plan allowed for $645.38. As a preferred provider, they eat $2,654.62. My co-pay was $96.80, and the facility got a check from my insurance for $548.80.
• The pathology was also in the preferred provider group. My plan allowed for $226.08, resulting in a $880.92 write off. My co-pay was $33.91 and the pathology folks got a check for from my insurance for $192.17.
• I’m not sure what Walgreens ate on my prescription, but I had to pay $13.21 on the $59.99 bill.

So, out of the original, $5,786.98… There are at least $3,535.54 in write offs that just vanish. I’m out of pocket $1,392.36 and my insurance paid out approximately $893.22. If you are not completely confused yet, there’s more to the story. I have a limited flexible spending account that can be used to pay for out of pocket expenses not covered by insurance. Money is pulled out of each of my wife’s paychecks and deposited into the flexible spending account as pre-tax dollars. We get to use our own money to pay for these expenses, but it is pre-tax money as opposed to net money, which results in about a 25-30% savings. So my true out of pocket is really like a bit over $1,000 when all is said and done.

Is there a bright side to this? Well, yes. There was some light in there when the doctor was doing his thing. And he found out that there’s really nothing wrong with my plumbing and peace of mind does have value. Of course, a $1,000 would have made for a helluva night on the town with wifey and then some fun at a swanky hotel… Don’t just assume that your insurance is going to cover it all. Be an educated consumer!