I read a post today, oh boy. It was by my friend, the Venomous One, over at Electric Venom. Apparently, some insolent little bugger of school age decided to go door-to-door hawking some fund-raising candy. It was a decidedly less than stellar encounter. And it got me kinda riled, too, because I absolutely despise this behavior.
I understand that public (or private) schools may not have all the funding necessary for all the little activities that our little angels want to do under the auspices of public education. Teaching them how to beg and/or inflict guilt is not the way to go. I’m glad I do not work in a “real office”. When I did, I would run in the opposite direction when somebody was passing around a catalog or sponsorship grid for their darlings. Keeping up with how many kids you took care of and how many co-workers owed you when it was time for your own pass around was just… sucky. So I never played and earned a reputation as a… Anyway…
My kids are in public school. And my daughters participate in all kinds of extra-curricular events. Dozens of fund raising projects get in my door and stay right there. I support these activities with direct contribution or participation. Period. When my kids’ friends come over trying to sell, I say no. I don’t even explain anymore.
I do not need chocolate.
I do not need wrapping paper.
I do not need knick-knacks.
I do not want summer sausage.
I do not want to sponsor each pin in bowling.
Or lap in the pool.
Or hours dancing.
I’m not interested in the crappy car wash.
I don’t want a coupon book.
I don’t want the automotive savings book.
I really couldn’t care less.
So here’s a little note to parents of kids that are sent out begging: The answer is no. If you send your kids to my house, or they wander here of their own accord, they are going to get a quick lesson in rejection. My kids don’t pester you. Please reciprocate.
Jeff,
If you don’t want to be pestered, post a no soliciting sign on your door, and my kid will be glad to leave you alone.
As for my kid “begging”, he will continue to do that to help defray the cost of his activities. When you do give him your lesson in rejection, I’ll thank you (silently); your rejection is as valuable as a sale (not a “beg”) in teaching him how the world works.
Steve
There is a “No Soliciting” sign up by my doorbell. And there is one up at every entrance to our entire subdivision. That doesn’t seem to be much of a deterrence to the panhandling… Sending school children out to solicit by use of overpriced and/or useless merchandise is not a good life lesson. Neither are the sham sales “contests” they put the kids in to engage peer pressure.
I am all for after school activities that go beyond the budget that my tax dollars underwrite. I am so for it that I support them directly.
Perhaps your child would be better served in learning how the taxation and supplemental funding system really works?
I understand the failure to appreciate or like kids selling wares of any kind when there are “no soliciting” signs everywhere…
Your anger, frustration, and/or other emotions might be more appropriately directed at the school system, the government that fails to properly fund the school system, …
However, you are certainly welcome to let those little pesky kids ruin your mood. Although, laughing at the situation might actually be better for your mental health and the mental health of all of those people around you.
Seems kinda sad that such an educated person lets their emotions be controlled by other people you can not control–those pesky kids. Why let anyone whose actions you can not control ruin your day? If you do, your reasoning escapes me… Perhaps a suggestion? A smile and an education (by explaining to the children what “no soliciting” means) might actually end the behavior you complain about and help educate the children and help them (the kids) not have more pesky kids…
However, you are an adult and can act as you wish. I hope you have a nice day.
And you really didn’t take the time to read or understand my post or responses. You are certainly in no position to judge my mental health, either.
I did read the post, and I have an opinion. Certainly, I could be wrong. However, your response also seems to be low on patience and high in frustration. For that, I am sorry.
I didn’t judge your mental state, I don’t want to judge your mental state, and it isn’t my place to judge your mental state. You are certainly welcome to feel any way you want, and I am not saying it is wrong to feel that way. I simply think you could be happier by taking a different response/approach.
I wish you well.
Counsel,
Methinks you are taking your moniker too seriously. You stated “might actually be better for your mental health and the mental health of all of those people around you”. If that’s not judging, we have different definitions. I do not have anger or frustration. I have a response to the situation and my response is “no”. And I am warning in advance so that the chilluns or the parents know, in advance, that the answer is no.
You are welcome to your opinion, but mine is that supplemental funding for extra-curricular events should not be accomplished through begging. The parents that benefit from these activities should support them directly. Those that want to contribute can do so, as well. Sending little Johnny around to bang on doors selling stale chocolate or expensive gift wrap is not, IMO, the best use of time, energy or resources and seeks to “shake down” folks who derive no direct benefit through coercion and guilt.
I don’t have any mental issues about this. I do have a pretty strong sentiment and have no problem expressing it. My kids also enjoy the extra-curricular programs that they participate in and that I help fund.
HAHAHAHHH!!! question for ‘counsel’ – do you hate it when telemarketers call you (during dinner, during tv, during whatever)? i especially hate it now that they have my cell phone number with my OH SO preciously few monthly minutes! it makes me very angry – in fact – it makes me MENTAL!!! but mental – in this blog – would be more like grabbing the box of chocolates (what have you) and throwing it down the sidewalk all the while drop kicking the kid off your porch and giving them a good lesson in how to spell and understand NO SOLICITING. you make him sound like a man with anger issues – but at least he is venting it though his very own personal blog (have you thought of getting your own blog??)… a healthy alternative to drop kicking a kid. not that mr. folloder needs any back-up… i’m just saying. LOL!!!
mr. folloder sir – i thought this might put a smile on your face.
Great video!
I have to laugh.
I neither disagreed that “beggars” are not desired nor that I thought such use was “the best use of time, energy or resources and seeks to “shake down” folks who derive no direct benefit through coercion and guilt.” I simply don’t like the idea of such children actually bothering people and that people should not feel guilty or feel coerced [his words] when they come around.
What I said was that the poster seemed to be upset about kids coming around and “begging.” I simply offered that his emotional state might be more stable if he simply smiled and educated the kids. This education does two things: (1)might, perhaps, contribute to the decline of the offending activity; and (2) would prevent him from feeling guilty or coerced (defined at http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/coerce). The poster, of course, may not be upset, but the writing gives the impression of him getting upset or made to feel “guiilty” or “coerced” [again, his words]. Of course, there is nothing wrong with getting upset or feeling that way–it just will not solve the “problem” or help him.
As to whether I am judging because I use “might actually be better for your mental health and the mental health of all of those people around you,” it MIGHT be…
It also might not be. I don’t say such feelings are WRONG, just hoping to keep people from having their emotions controlled by the activities of others outside of their control.
Methinks, to borrow a term, that you feel I am criticizing you. I am not. Just offering another way to look at the behavior that won’t make you feel “bad”–either guilty or coerced…