Sure, Terrell Owens may have more talent than has ever been seen at the position of wide receiver in the National Football league. But the guy is also a self-obsessed ass wipe that is a cancer on any team that he plays for. His latest stunt, the “I tried to kill myself, but really didn’t” act, was just more BS from a jerk of the highest order. Frankly T.O., I could care less if you ever played again.
Archive for September, 2006
I’m currently at the palacial estate of Art Ruppelt, of Ming-Kahuna fame. We’re making goovy tampers in the workshop. We’re also making a big mess. If you are headed to the Richmond, Virginia CORPS show this weekend, we’ll see you there!
The set ups for all of these “reality” TV shows is really getting out of hand. Wha’t next? Dancing with some C-List Celeb’s mother-in-law? Anyway, there was some show on Fox that pitted humans against animals in really stupid competition. Umm, right…
Gotta say I agree with the Venomous One on this…
From Electric Venom :
In April, it was a mole. Since then, it’s been a dozen or so mice. Yesterday, it was a bird…which was somewhat alive. Today, it’s a bunny. A baby bunny. All of them have been deposited at – or on – my feet. I realize this should be terribly flattering, touching, even. I recall reading somewhere that such tribute is all but a form of worship from my cat. But how many times do I have to tell him, “Lobster. Lobster, dammit!”
So I have seen almost three complete weeks of NFL football and have come to a few conclusions… It’s hard to tell which team sucks worse: the Houston Texans or the Oakland Raiders. I know that the Texans are built on character and quality individuals, but I have two words for you: Reggie Bush. As for the silly prediction, here you go:
NFC Championship game – Philly vs Da Bears. AFC Championship game – Cincy vs Indy.
The Big Game (can’t actually write the real name of the game because it is copyrighted and they lke squashing folks) – Da Bears vs. Da Colts.
Last night I took delivery on a new toy. It’s a JLD Enterprises PTR91. You can’t see it in the picture, but it has a folding Choate-style stock. The new rifle was purchased from ML Security Products and I could not have been more pleased with their service. This is a clone of the grand-daddy of all modern battle rifles, the H&K G3. Matter of fact, I’ve now had the opportunity to play with both and I think that the JLD offering is superior to the original. It is built on H&K tooling and machinery in the United States, but the tolerances and materials are much better, the welds are cleaner and everything about the weapon just seems to be “betterer”. I added a low-rise picatinny rail mount (that fit perfectly) and an EoTech holographic targeting scope. Can you say .308 goodness?
Who else but The Consumerist could put such a spin on the whole generic drup hoo-haw currently in the news?
In the wake of media buzz concerning Wal-Mart’s $4 dollar a month generic drug plan, and Target’s claim that they too will slash prices, Kmart has responded: But we already have a $5 a month plan, hello? Guys? Are you there?
“Kmart stood by its existing plan, which offers a 90-day supply of selected generic drugs for $15. Kmart said its plan covers more than 185 medications and is expanding.
The company said that, while Kmart shoppers will pay $1 more per month for generic prescriptions, they only have to go to the pharmacy once every three months and can save money in gasoline costs for each trip to the store.”
Wal-Mart counters, “Whatever, bitch. $4.” Target responds, “Yeah, what Wal-Mart said.” Then Wal-mart and Target stole Kmart’s Hostess Cake and ripped off the head of Kmart’s favorite Han Solo action figure. They were not sorry.
WASHINGTON — The F-14 Tomcat, the fighter jet that soared into the national imagination in the movie Top Gun, has flown into the danger zone for the last time.
The Navy announced Thursday that the last F-14 combat mission was completed Feb. 8, when a pair of Tomcats landed aboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt after one dropped a bomb in Iraq. Full story.
So that’s it. No giant send off or anything? The airplane that fueled a generation of male ego and movie quotations is done? Kind of anti-climactic if you ask me. Audio goodbye.
I don’t pretend to. But the Venomous one at ElectricVenom.com has some hints for men who wish to understand why women do the things they do with clothes. This is very important stuff, so pay attention:
1. Weather dictates fashion. If it’s foggy in the morning but sunny in the afternoon we’ll need two — count ‘em, TWO — outfits and that, of course, means we’ll also need two separate pairs of shoes. (No, we can’t just throw a sweater over our sunny-weather outfit until the fog clears because our earrings, makeup and hairstyle might not go with the sweater.)
2. Regardless of what the weather is doing, our clothing choices are also determined by where you say you’ll be taking us. Note that I used the word “say”, which indicates that we know full well you said you were taking us out to lunch but we plan on doing a bit of window-shopping first. And window-shopping means we might want to pop in the store and try something on. And that means we have to wear something we can easily change in- and out of… along with the appropriate accessories.
3. Assuming that neither the weather nor our plans are going to change, we still have to dress to impress other women. (Face it, if we dressed to impress men we need only throw on some cleavage-baring top, an ass-hugging miniskirt and a pair of dangerously high stilettos… sans panties.) The problem is, we never know in advance what those other women are going to be wearing since they, too, follow Rules #1 and #2. Ergo, we need at least four other outfits: something dressy, something casual, something casually dressy and something dressily casual. And corresponding shoes, earrings, belts, necklaces, bracelets, wraps, undergarments and a purse, handbag or clutch.
Now, you may be thinking “Ok, that covers just about every contingency.” Silly, silly man. You’ve forgotten the One Thing that can change All Girl Thangs.
4. Even if we follow Rules 1 through 3, That Time Of The Month changes everything. Everything. That pair of hip-hugger jeans with the cute, clingy top we’d planned to pair with a pair of platform shoes and a hobo bag just won’t work when we’re carrying 10 lbs. of water weight and lugging around a pair of swollen, aching boobs. But since wearing a potato sack isn’t an option, we also have to pack another pair of pants one size larger than usual and a slimming yet comfortably fashionable top (read: one without a waistband), along with the appropriate shoes, earrings, jewelry, wrap, undergarments and yet another purse (one which doesn’t draw attention to our bloated waistlines).
5. Of course, once we’ve packed all of the various outfits that can satisfy Rules 1 through 4 we also need comfortable clothes. You know the ones I’m talking about: the clothes we wear around the house when we are absolutely, 100% certain that nobody — NOBODY — is going to see us except, perhaps, you. Because we like those clothes. They’re comfy. We just don’t get to wear them… at least, not until we’ve tried on each and every thing in our closets in accordance with the previous four rules and screamed, at least once, “I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR!” In other words, these are the clothes we wear to polish off whatever Hagen-Daaz is left in the freezer.